Connecting Ideas Logically and Effectively (0)

UNIT 6

Connecting Ideas Logically and Effectively

The aim of the section is to assist you to produce an effective topic outline : a skeleton of your document . If this stage of the production process is done properly all you really need are the language control techniques to connect your ideas logically and effectively.
If you have a well documented list of techniques to connect your ideas effectively the writing process is less formidable. You will want to know how to join similarities, compare and contrast certain facts, introduce the next topic, offer a supporting idea , or refer to previously presented facts. You will also need to know how to present different shades of argument to produce logically a recommendation you wish to make. This requires an ability to emphasise certain facts and ' bury ' others. However , all facts need to be linked to give a logical flow.
This unit will give you language practice in this impor­tant aspect of producing written documents.

Evaluation Exercise 1 Connectives

Study the following two versions of the same text and decide

• which do you find easier to read and why?
  
• what is the difference between them ?
  

When the ICN equipment was first introduced, it was found to provide a flexible and advanced system. Its speed of operation was greater than comparable hardware then available . In recent months major faults have developed in the equipment. The local agent appears incapable of providing a reliable repair service . The system is regularly out of order for several days at a time. The makers have agreed to replace the system free of charge . The new equipment will not be installed for at least six months. Such a delay is clearly unacceptable to us. We should insist that ICN send their own engineer to service the equipment. The equipment should be transported to the ICN plant for inspection and repair there .
When the ICN equipment was first introduced, it was found to provide a flexible and advanced system. Moreover , its speed of operation was greater than comparable hardware then available. However, in recent months major faults have developed in the equipment, and the local agent appears incapable of providing a reliable repair service. Consequently, the system is regularly out of order for several days at a time. Although the makers have agreed to replace the system free of charge, the new equipment will not be installed for at least six months. Such a delay is clearly unacceptable to us. We should therefore insist that ICN send their own engineer to service the equipment. Alternatively, the equipment should be transported to the ICN plant for inspection and repair there .

Discussion 1

Although Text 25 is not impossible to read, Text 26 is far easier. This is because in Text 26 the writer uses linking words - moreover, however, consequently, although, there­fore, alternatively - to indicate the relationship between the ideas in the text. This makes it far easier for the reader to follow the writer's line of thought , or argument. Did you, for example, immediately realise that the last two sentences were alternative proposals when you read Text 25? If the writer's line of thought is not made clear to the reader in this way, there is a much greater chance that the reader will misunderstand the meaning that the writer intends. These linking words are therefore extremely important .
Note that connectives may be grouped in two different ways . Firstly, they can be grouped according to meaning. Thus, but, although and however all have the same meaning and can all be used to join the two ideas below .
X The makers have agreed to replace the equipment free of charge.
Y The new equipment will not be installed for at least six months.
However, grammatically but, although and however are quite different. Look at the sentences which are produced when they are used.
1 The makers have agreed to replace the equipment free of charge, but the new equipment will not be in for at least three months.
\ X, but Y. \ but is placed between two main ideas in one sentence.
2 Although the makers have agreed to replace the equipment free of charge, the new equipment will not be installed for at least three months.
\ Although X, Y. \ or \ Y, although X. \ Although is placed at the beginning of a support idea. There must be a main idea (Y) in the same sentence.
3 The makers have agreed to replace the system free of charge. However, the new equipment will not be installed for at least three months.
\ X. However, Y. \ The two ideas are placed in separate sentences.
However comes at the beginning of the second sentence and is followed by a comma.
Some of these connectives are sometimes also used in other positions in the sentence, and you should be prepared to see this when you read reports written by English -speaking writers . However, if you follow patterns given here , your writing will improve in fluency.
TASK 1
1 Read the following letter of complaint and choose the best connectives to fill each gap from the options given afterwards.
On 10 November 1999 we purchased from your company 500 pairs of ‘Gripfast’ safety boots and 800 pairs of ‘Holdtight’ safety gloves (Invoice No. 632/A559T). Prior to the transaction , you had informed us that, under our normal working conditions ………………(1) the boots and the gloves were guaranteed for a period of six months.
………………(2), only four months later , we now find that these items are of unsatisfactory standard for our daily working conditions.
………………(3) we were assured by your representative that the gloves were suitable ………………(4) for hot work ………………(5) for the handling of drilling equipment, many have already been ………………(6) burned ………………(7) ripped and ………………(8) have had to be discarded. ………………(9), the rubberised wrist grip quickly becomes slack, resulting in the possible danger of gloves falling off during hazardous operations. ………………(10), it has been necessary to discard still more.
………………(11) the safety boots, many complaints have ………………(12) been received about them. ………………(13) being uncomfortable to wear, it would appear that they are not properly waterproofed. ………………(14), the increase in ankle injuries which has been noted since the introduction of these boots suggests that further protection and support is required in this area.
………………(15), ………………(16) your claims and guarantees regarding these products, we feel that you have supplied us with goods that were falsely represented and which are clearly unsuitable for our purposes . Under these circumstances, we ………………(17) believe that your company bears a responsibility to compensate for these unsatisfactory items.
We would be grateful if you could inform us as soon as possible of the action which you intend to take.
1 also / either / both / besides
2 However / Although / But / Moreover
3 However / Although / But / Moreover
4/5 either … or / not only … but also / firstly … secondly
6/7 either … or / not only … but also / firstly … secondly
8 in addition / however / therefore / alternatively
9 In addition / However / Therefore / Alternatively
10 Furthermore / On the other hand / Besides / For this reason
11 About / Also / As for / Because of
12 besides / also / therefore / moreover
13 Furthermore / Despite / As well as / Whereas
14 Consequently / However / Moreover / Because
15 In short / Alternatively / In addition to / Because
16 consequently / however / although / in spite of
17 moreover / therefore / however / alternatively
2 Join the following ideas using the connectives in brackets.
a) You are requested to submit drawings for the project . We would be grateful if you informed us of the proposed commencement date . (furthermore)
b) The ICN machine is complicated to operate. It breaks down frequently. (besides)
c) Bid A quotes the lowest price . It does not meet the project specifications. ( while )
d) It was originally suggested that another offline machine should be hired. Online equipment would best meet the needs of the department . (however)
e) The department should recruit another ten staff . The project could be contracted out. (alternatively)
f) The fax machine is accurate, compact and soundless. The hire rate is extremely expensive . (on the other hand)
g) The official overtime limit is sixty hours per month . Overtime workers sometimes exceed seventy hours. (although)
h) The meeting discussed the staffing problem in the Petroleum Engineering Department. The meeting discussed the need for advanced training for several of the Department’s engineers. (both … and)
3 Choose a suitable connective to join the following ideas.
a) There was only a limited number of CO2 extinguishers. The fire was extinguished with little difficulty.
b) The plans for the project will have to be revised. Unforeseen difficulties have arisen.
c) The rates of pay are not yet clearly defined. It is recommended that the contract should not yet be signed .
d) The tests could be carried out on Wednesday , but the line would have to be shut down. They could be postponed until the following week.
Evaluation Exercise 2 Sentence Length
Text 31 and Text 32 are both extracts from company reports. Neither of them are really acceptable or effective as a piece of writing. Why? How would you improve them?
The induction courses have so far been the responsibility of the Personnel Administration Department. They could also be run by individual line departments. However, this would cause more disruption . The company might also lose some production. Therefore, line managers may refuse to cooperate.
It has been decided to finance the construction of a further COC housing complex which will be located in the vicinity of the main offices and will provide extra accommodation for twenty families , but the 50% increase in manpower which is expected to have occurred by 2010 means that the company's provision of accommodation will still be inadequate, and so the proposal for COC to share the new Al Rumaithy Building with MEOC should still be considered .

Discussion 2

The writers of Text 31 and Text 32 both really have the same problem: they have failed to control the length of their sentences. The length of the sentences in any piece of writing has an important effect on the style of that text. If all the sentences are particularly short, as in Text 31, then the text will be abrupt, jerky and disconnected. On the other hand, if they are too long, as in Text 32, then the sentence will become very complex, and it may be difficult for the reader to follow the writer's meaning. Of course , any text will have some long or short sentences, but a good average length is probably around 20-25 words, with two or three clauses.
There are a number of methods in English of combining more than one idea into a single sentence, or conversely of dividing them into separate sentences. Look at what is happening in the following pairs of examples :
1 The cost of living increment varies from year to year. It has to be calculated accurately.
# The cost of living increment varies from year to year and has to be calculated accurately.
2 The ICN computer would be preferable. It has more functions than the DAF counterpart.
# The ICN computer, which has more functions than the DAF counterpart, would be preferable.
3 The participants discussed the final point on the agenda. Then the meeting was closed.
# After the participants had discussed the final point on the agenda, the meeting was closed.
4 The complainant seemed to be an honest man. However, his grievance did not appear justified.
# Although the complainant seemed to be an honest man, his grievance did not appear justified.
5 James has accepted the position . He works as assistant to the Public Relations Manager .
#James has accepted the position, working as assistant to the Public Relations Manager.
Notice how the choice of linking word enables you to control the length of the sentence(s).

TASK 2

1 By changing the linking words, divide the following long sentences into two shorter ones.
a) Although in general safety regulations are being followed, our inspection revealed that a small number of employees fail to wear protective clothing when taking part in hazardous operations.
b) By the time this department was informed of the accident it was impossible to prevent extensive police involvement which could have been avoided as only company vehicles were involved in the crash.
c) There has recently been a large number of unavoidable delays in the despatch of materials to departments due to the departments sending their orders to the warehouse very late in the day.
2 Now change the linking word in order to combine the two short sentences in eachexample into one longer one.
a) The company employs a number of consultants. They work on a freelance basis .
b) The system is highly efficient. It is also cheap to run.
c) During 2001 our exports to the Middle East rose . In contrast, our exports to Europe fell .
3 Now rewrite Text 31 and Text 32 to give each of them a more satisfactory sentence length.
Evaluation Exercise 3 Focus
Below you will see two versions of the final sections from each of two reports. Look at each of them in turn and decide:
- in which version the ideas are expressed more logically in support of the final recommendations and why.
- what the difference is between the two versions.
1 a) The SLX/34 system is, admittedly, the most expensive on the market . However, it is also by far the most efficient. I would therefore not recommend that it should be purchased at the current time.
b) The SLX/34 system is, admittedly, the most expensive on the market. However, it is also by far the most efficient. I would therefore recommend that it should be purchased immediately.
2 a) In summary, although Mr Pellegrini carries out his duties extremely efficiently and with an exceptional degree of initiative, he seems to have had certain problems in his relationships with other staff. It is therefore recommended that he should not be promoted at this time.
b) In summary, although Mr Pellegrini seems to have had certain problems in his relationships with other staff, he carries out his duties extremely efficiently and with an exceptional degree of initiative. It is therefore recommended that he should not be promotcd at this time.

Discussion 3

The most logical version of each report is 1b) and 2a). In these versions the ideas are organized so that they directly support the recommendation. In 1a) and 2b), on the other hand, the organization of ideas would seem to lead towards quite the opposite recommendation to the one which is actually given. How does this happen ?
In both versions of each report, the writer has a positive and a negative point to discuss . For instance in 1, the positive point is the machine's efficiency, the negative point is the cost. Which point the writer wishes to emphasize will depend on the recommendation: to support a negative recommendation (we should not purchase the machine) the negative point should be emphasized; to support a positive recommendation (we should purchase the machine) the positive point should be emphasized.
There are two ways of doing this:
- The point placed second receives greater focus, or emphasis , than the point placed first. So, Negative+Positive - focuses on the positive
Positive+Negative - focuses on the negative
1b) focuses on the positive point and leads to a positive recommendation. 2a) focuses on the negative point and leads to a negative recommendation. Both of these are therefore logical. 1a) and 2b) emphasize the positive point but lead to a negative recommendation. They are therefore not logical.
- If you look at 2a) and 2b) you will see that they both contain a main and a support/subordinate clause . The support/subordinate clause is introduced by although.In 2a) the writer places the positive point in the support/subordinate clause, and the negative point in the main clause.
Although Mr Pellegrini carries out his duties extremely efficiently and with an exceptional amount of initiative,
he seems to have had certain problems in his relationships with other staff.
Support/ subordinate clause
main clause
The information in the main clause always receives more focus than the information in the subordinate clause. Therefore 2a), which focuses on the negative point by putting it second and by putting it in the main clause, leads logically to the negative recommendation.
2b) which focuses on the positive point in the same way, but still leads to a negative recommendation, is not logical.

TASK 3

1 Which sentence, X or Y, best supports the following recommendation in each case ?
a) X While the introduction of the flexitime system has caused a number of administrative problems, it has also led to a significant drop in short term absenteeism.
Y While the introduction of the flexitime system has led to a significant drop in short term absenteeism, it has also led to a number of administrative problems.
It is therefore recommended that the system should be continued.
b) X The ICN system, which would be the cheapest, does not meet our specifications.
Y The ICN system, which does not meet our specifications, would be the cheapest.
It cannot , therefore, be considered.
c) X In the past this firm has always given us excellent service, although recently there has been a deterioration.
Y Although in the past this firm has always given us excellent service, recently there has been a deterioration.
It might therefore be advisable to place contract elsewhere.
d) X Most of our overseas branches seem confident that sales figures will start to rise in 2003. However, up to now there has been no evidence of any increase in sales.
Y Up to now there has been no evidence of any increase in sales. However, most of our overseas branches seem confident that sales figures will start to rise in 2003.
I should therefore recommend that we should continue to be cautious about any plans for expansion.
2 Combine the two pieces of information in each case using the linking word provided so that they best support the following recommendation. Remember that you must decide the order of the two pieces of information.
a) X The use of the chemical has been found to improve the process considerably.
Y It has obvious disadvantages (although)
It is therefore not recommended that it should be used on a large scale.
b) X The use of the chemical has been found to improve the process considerably.
Y It has obvious disadvantages (although)
It is therefore recommended that we should start using it as soon as possible.
c) X The cost of the system must be taken into consideration .
Y Computerization would increase output by an estimated 800 per cent . (however)
I would suggest that we are currently not in a position to consider such a massive capital outlay.
d) X The project would bring us no direct financial gain.
Y It would be an excellent exercise in public relations (while)
It cannot, therefore, be considered at the moment.
e) X Brunton and Denby have worked for us on similar projects in the past.
Y Brunton and Denby have now moved out of the area (who)
It will therefore be necessary for us to find a new firm of contractors.