Lamb
to the Slaughterby
Roald Dahl (1916-1990) The
room was
warm and
clean , the curtains drawn, the two table lamps
alight
- hers and the one by the empty
chair opposite. On the
sideboard behind her, two
tall glasses, soda water, whiskey. Fresh ice
cubes in the Thermos bucket.
Mary Maloney was
waiting for her
husband to
come him ( correction : home) from
work .
Now and
again she would glance up at the
clock , but
without anxiety, merely
to
please herself with the
thought that each
minute gone by made it
nearer the time when he would come.
There was a
slow smiling
air about her, and about everything she did. The
drop of a head
as she
bent over her sewing was curiously
tranquil. Her
skin - for this was her
sixth month with
child - had
acquired
a wonderful translucent quality, the mouth was
soft , and the
eyes ,
with their new placid
look ,
seemed larger darker than
before . When
the clock said ten minutes to
five , she began to
listen , and a few
moments later , punctually as always, she heard the
tires on the
gravel
outside , and the car
door slamming, the footsteps passing the
window , the key
turning in the lock. She
laid aside her sewing,
stood up, and
went forward to
kiss him as he
came in.
“Hullo
darling,” she said.
“Hullo darling,” he answered.
She
took his
coat and hung it in the closer. Then she
walked over
and made the
drinks , a strongish one for him, a
weak one for herself;
and soon she was
back again in her chair with the sewing, and he in
the
other , opposite,
holding the tall
glass with
both hands , rocking
it so the ice cubes tinkled against the side.
For her, this
was always a blissful time of day. She knew he didn’t want to
speak much
until the
first drink was
finished , and she, on her side,
was content to sit quietly, enjoying his company after the long hours
alone in the house. She loved to luxuriate in the presence of
this man, and to
feel -
almost as a sunbather feels the sun - that
warm
male glow that came out of him to her when they were alone
together. She loved him for the way he sat loosely in a chair,
for the way he came in a door, or moved slowly
across the room with
long strides. She loved intent, far look in his eyes when they
rested in her, the funny shape of the mouth, and especially the way
he remained silent about his tiredness, sitting
still with
himself until the whiskey had taken some of it
away .
“Tired
darling?”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m tired,”
And as he
spoke , he did an
unusual thing . He lifted his glass
and
drained it in one
swallow although there was still half of
it, at
least half of it
left . She wasn’t
really watching him, but
she knew what he had
done because she heard the ice cubes falling
back against the
bottom of the empty glass when he lowered his arm.
He paused a moment, leaning forward in the chair, then he got up and
went slowly over to fetch himself
another .
“I’ll get it!”
she cried, jumping up.
“Sit down,” he said.
When he
came back, she noticed that the new drink was
dark amber with
the quantity of whiskey in it.
“Darling,
shall I get your
slippers?”
“No.”
She
watched him as he began to
sip the dark yellow drink, and she
could see
little oily swirls in
the
liquid because it was so
strong .
“I think it’s a
shame,” she said, “that when a policeman
gets to be as senior as
you, they
keep him
walking about on his
feet all day long.”
He
didn’t
answer , so she bent her head again and went on with her
sewing; bet each time he lifted the drink to his
lips , she heard the
ice cubes
clinking against the side of the glass.
“Darling,”
she said. “Would you like me to get you some cheese? I
haven ’t made any
supper because it’s Thursday.”
“No,”
he said.
“If you’re too tired to eat out,” she went on,
“it’s still not too
late . There’s plenty of
meat and
stuff in the freezer, and you can have it right
here and not
even move out of the chair.”
Her eyes waited on him for an
answer, a
smile , a little nod, but he made no sign.
“Anyway,”
she went on, “I’ll get you some cheese and crackers first.”
“I
don’t want it,” he said.
She moved
uneasily in her
chair, the large eyes still watching his
face . “But you must
eat! I’ll fix it anyway, and then you can have it or not, as
you like.”
She stood up and placed her sewing on the table
by the lamp.
“Sit down,” he said. “Just for a
minute, sit down.”
It wasn’t
till then that she began to
get frightened.
“Go on,” he said. “Sit down.”
She
lowered herself back slowly into the chair, watching him all the time
with those large,
bewildered eyes. He had finished the
second drink and was staring down into the glass,
frowning.
“Listen,” he said. “I’ve got
something to
tell you.”
“What is it, darling? What’s the
matter ?”
He had now become absolutely
motionless, and
he
kept his head down so that the
light from the lamp beside him
fell across the
upper part of his face, leaving the
chin and mouth in
shadow. She noticed there was a little muscle
moving near the
corner of his left eye.
“This is
going to be a bit of a
shock to you, I’m
afraid ,” he said.
“But I’ve thought about it a
good deal and I’ve decided the
only thing to do is tell you right away. I
hope you won’t
blame me too much.”
And he
told her. It didn’t take
long,
four or five minutes at most, and she say very still
through it
all, watching him with a kind of dazed
horror as he went
further and
further away from her with each word.
“So there it is,” he
added. “And I
know it’s kind of a bad time to be telling
you, bet there simply wasn’t any other way. Of
course I’ll
give you
money and see you’re looked after. But there needn’t
really be any
fuss. I hope not anyway. It wouldn’t
be very good for my job.”
Her first instinct was not to
believe any of it, to reject it all. It
occurred to her
that
perhaps he hadn’t even spoken, that she herself had imagined
the
whole thing. Maybe, if she went about her business and
acted as though she hadn’t been
listening , then later, when she
sort of woke up again, she might
find none of it had ever
happened .
“I’ll
get the supper,” she
managed to whisper, and this time he didn’t
stop her.
When she walked across the room she couldn’t feel
her feet touching the
floor . She couldn’t feel
anything at
all- except a slight
nausea and a
desire to vomit.
Everything was
automatic now - down the steps to the
cellar , the
light switch, the
deep freeze, the
hand inside the cabinet
taking hold of the first
object it met. She lifted it out, and looked
at it. It was
wrapped in
paper , so she took off the paper and
looked at it again.
A leg of lamb.
All right then, they
would have lamb for supper. She carried it upstairs, holding
the
thin bone-end of it with both her hands, and as she went through
the
living -room, she saw him standing over by the window with his
back to her, and she stopped.
“For God’s sake,” he said,
hearing her, but not turning
round . “Don’t make supper for
me. I’m going out.”
At that point, Mary Maloney
simply walked up behind him and without any pause she swung the big
frozen leg of lamb high in the air and
brought it down as
hard as she
could on the back of his head.
She might just as well have hit
him with a steel
club .
She stepped back a
pace ,
waiting, and the funny thing was that he remained standing there for
at least four or five
seconds , gently swaying. Then he crashed
to the
carpet .
The
violence of the crash, the noise, the small table overturning, helped
bring her out of he shock. She came out slowly, feeling
cold and
surprised , and she stood for a
while blinking at the
body , still
holding the
ridiculous piece of meat tight with both hands.
All
right, she told herself. So I’ve
killed him.
It was
extraordinary, now, how
clear her mind became all of a sudden.
She began thinking very
fast . As the
wife of a detective, she
knew quite well what the
penalty would be. That was fine.
It made no
difference to her. In
fact , it would be a relief.
On the other hand, what about the child? What were the
laws about murderers with unborn children? Did they kill then both -
mother and child? Or did they
wait until the
tenth month?
What did they do?
Mary Maloney didn’t
know . And she
certainly wasn’t prepared to take a
chance .
She carried the
meat into the
kitchen , placed it in a pan, turned the
oven on high,
and shoved t inside. Then she washed her hands and ran upstairs
to the bedroom. She sat down before the
mirror , tidied her
hair ,
touched up her
lops and face. She tried a smile.
It came out
rather peculiar. She tried again.
“Hullo
Sam,” she said brightly, aloud.
The
voice sounded peculiar
too.
“I want some potatoes please, Sam. Yes, and I
think a can of peas.”
That was better. Both the smile
and the voice were
coming out better now. She rehearsed it
several
times more. Then she ran
downstairs , took her coat,
went out the back door, down the
garden , into the
street .
It
wasn’t six o’clock yet and the
lights were still on in the
grocery
shop .
“Hullo Sam,” she said brightly, smiling at
the man behind the
counter .
“Why, good
evening , Mrs.
Maloney. How’re you?”
“I want some potatoes
please, Sam. Yes, and I think a can of peas.”
The man
turned and reached up behind him on the
shelf for the
peas.
“
Patrick ’s decided he’s tired and doesn’t want
to eat out
tonight ,” she told him. “We
usually go out
Thursdays, you know, and now he’s caught me without any vegetables
in the house.”
“Then how about meat, Mrs. Maloney?”
“No,
I’ve got meat, thanks. I got a
nice leg of lamb from the
freezer.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know much like
cooking it frozen, Sam, but I’m taking a chance on it this time.
You think it’ll be all right?”
“Personally,” the
grocer said, “I don’t believe it makes any difference. You
want
these Idaho potatoes?”
“Oh yes, that’ll be fine.
Two of those.”
“Anything
else ?” The grocer cocked his
head on one side, looking at her pleasantly. “How about
afterwards? What you going to give him for afterwards?”
“Well
- what would you suggest, Sam?”
The man glanced
around his
shop. “How about a nice big
slice of cheesecake? I know
he likes that.”
“
Perfect ,” she said. “He loves
it.”
And when it was all wrapped and she had
paid , she put
on her brightest smile and said, “Thank you, Sam.
Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Mrs. Maloney. And thank
you.”
And now, she told herself as she hurried back, all she
was doing now, she was returning home to her husband and he was
waiting for his supper; and she must cook it good, and make it as
tasty as possible because the
poor man was tired; and if, when she
entered the house, she happened to find anything unusual, or tragic,
or terrible, then naturally it would be a shock and she’d become
frantic with grief and horror. Mind you, she wasn’t
expecting to find anything. She was just going home with the
vegetables. Mrs. Patrick Maloney going home with the vegetables on
Thursday evening to cook supper for her husband.
That’s the
way, she told herself. Do everything right and natural.
Keep things absolutely natural and there’ll be no need for any
acting at all.
Therefore , when she entered the kitchen by the
back door, she was
humming a little
tune to herself and
smiling.
“Patrick!” she called. “How are you,
darling?”
She put the
parcel down on the table and went
through into the living room; and when she saw him
lying there on the
floor with his
legs doubled up and one arm twisted back
underneath his body, it really was rather a shock. All the old love and
longing for him welled up inside her, and she ran over to him, knelt
down beside him, and began to cry her
heart out. It was
easy .
No acting was
necessary .
A few minutes later she got up and
went to the
phone . She know the number of the
police station,
and when the man at the other end answered, she cried to him,
“
Quick ! Come quick! Patrick’s dead!”
“Who’s
speaking?”
“Mrs. Maloney. Mrs. Patrick
Maloney.”
“You
mean Patrick Maloney’s dead?”
“I
think so,” she sobbed. “He’s lying on the floor and I
think he’s dead.”
“Be right over,” the man said.
The
car came very quickly, and when she opened the
front door, two
policeman walked in. She know
them both - she know nearly all
the man at that
precinct - and she fell right into a chair,
then went over to join the other one, who was called O’Malley,
kneeling by the body.
“Is he dead?” she cried.
“I’m
afraid he is. What happened?”
Briefly , she told her
story about going out to the grocer and coming back to find him on
the floor. While she was
talking , crying and talking, Noonan
discovered a small
patch of
congealed blood on the dead man’s
head. He showed it to O’Malley who got up at
once and hurried
to the phone.
Soon, other men began to come into the house.
First a
doctor , then two detectives, one of
whom she know by name.
Later, a police
photographer arrived and took pictures, and a man who
know about
fingerprints . There was a great deal of whispering
and muttering beside the corpse, and the detectives kept
asking her a
lot of
questions . But they always treated her kindly. She
told her story again, this time right from the
beginning , when
Patrick had come in, and she was sewing, and he was tired, so tired
he hadn’t wanted to go out for supper. She told how she’d
put the meat in the oven - it’s there now, cooking” - and how
she’d slopped out to the grocer for vegetables, and come back to
find him lying on the floor.
“Which grocer?” one of the
detectives
asked .
She told him, and he turned and whispered
something to the other detective who immediately went outside into
the street.
In fifteen minutes he was back with a page of
notes, and there was more whispering, and through her
sobbing she
heard a few of the whispered phrases - ”...acted quite
normal...very cheerful...wanted to give him a good
supper…peas...cheesecake...impossible that she...”
After a
while, the photographer and the doctor departed and two other men
came in and took the corpse away on a
stretcher. Then
the fingerprint man went away. The two detectives remained, and
so did the two policeman. They were exceptionally nice to her,
and Jack Noonan asked if she wouldn’t rather go somewhere else, to
her
sister ’s house perhaps, or to his own wife who would take care
of her and put her up for the
night .
No, she said. She
didn’t feel she could move even a yard at the moment. Would
they mind awfully of she stayed just where she was until she
felt better. She didn’t feel too good at the moment, she really
didn’t.
Then hadn’t she better lie down on the bed?
Jack Noonan asked.
No, she said. She’d like to
stay right where she was, in this chair. A little later, perhaps,
when she felt better, she would move.
So they left her there
while they went about their business, searching the house.
Occasionally on of the
detectives asked her another question. Sometimes Jack Noonan
spoke at her gently as he passed by. Her husband, he told her,
had been killed by a blow on the back of the head administered with a
heavy blunt instrument , almost certainly a large piece of
metal . They were looking for the
weapon . The murderer may
have taken it with him, but on the other hand he may have thrown it
away or
hidden it somewhere on the
premises .
“It’s
the old story,” he said. “Get the weapon, and you’ve got
the man.”
Later, one of the detectives came up and sat
beside her. Did she know, he asked, of anything in the house
that could’ve been used as the weapon? Would she mind having
a look around to see if anything was
missing - a very big
spanner,
for example, or a heavy metal vase.
They didn’t have any
heavy metal vases, she said.
“Or a big spanner?”
She
didn’t think they had a big spanner. But there might be some
things like that in the
garage .
The search went on. She
knew that there were other policemen in the garden all around the
house. She could hear their footsteps on the
gravel
outside, and sometimes she saw a
flash of a torch through a chink in
the curtains. It began to get late, nearly
nine she noticed by
the clock on the
mantle. The four men searching the
rooms seemed to be
growing weary, a trifle
exasperated.
“Jack,”
she said, the next tome Sergeant Noonan went by. “Would you
mind
giving me a drink?”
“Sure I’ll give you a drink.
You mean this whiskey?”
“Yes please. But just a
small one. It might make me feel better.”
He handed
her the glass.
“Why don’t you have one yourself,” she
said. “You must be awfully tired. Please do.
You’ve been very good to me.”
“Well,” he answered.
“It’s not strictly
allowed , but I might take just a drop to keep
me going.”
One by one the
others came in and were persuaded
to take a little nip of whiskey. They stood around rather
awkwardly with the drinks in their hands, uncomfortable in her
presence, trying to say
consoling things to her.
Sergeant Noonan
wandered into the kitchen, come out quickly
and said, “Look, Mrs. Maloney. You know that oven of
yours is
still on, and the meat still inside.”
“Oh
dear me!” she
cried. “So it is!”
“I better
turn it off for you,
hadn’t I?”
“Will you do that, Jack. Thank you so
much.”
When the sergeant returned the second time, she
looked at him with her large, dark tearful eyes. “Jack
Noonan,” she said.
“Yes?”
“Would you do me a
small
favor - you and these others?”
“We can try, Mrs.
Maloney.”
“Well,” she said. “Here you all are,
and good
friends of dear Patrick’s too, and helping to catch the
man who killed him. You must be terrible hungry by now because
it’s long past your suppertime, and I know Patrick would
never forgive me, God bless his
soul , if I allowed you to
remain in his
house without offering you
decent hospitality. Why don’t
you eat up that lamb that’s in the oven. It’ll be cooked
just right by now.”
“Wouldn’t
dream of it,” Sergeant
Noonan said.
“Please,” she begged. “Please eat
it. Personally I couldn’t
tough a thing, certainly not what’s
been in the house when he was here. But it’s all right for
you. It’d be a favor to me if you’d eat it up. Then
you can go on with your work again afterwards.”
There was a
good deal of
hesitating among the four policemen, but they
were
clearly hungry, and in the end they were persuaded to go into
the kitchen and help themselves. The
woman stayed where she
was, listening to them speaking among themselves, their voices thick
and
sloppy because their mouths were full of meat.
“Have
some more,
Charlie ?”
“No. Better not finish
it.”
“She wants us to finish it. She said so. Be
doing her a favor.”
“Okay then. Give me some
more.”
“That’s the
hell of a big club the gut must’ve
used to hit poor Patrick,” one of them was saying. “The doc
says his
skull was smashed all to pieces just like from a
sledgehammer.”
“That’s why it ought to be easy to
find.”
“Exactly what I say.”
“Whoever done it,
they’re not going to be carrying a thing like that around with them
longer than they need.”
One of them
belched.
“Personally,
I think it’s right here on the premises.”
“Probably
right under our very noses. What you think, Jack?”
And
in the other room, Mary Maloney began to
giggle.
READING TASKS
Read the story and correct all the silly mistakes the internet has made. The first one has been done for you: him (correction: home). There are thirteen more words , and one of them is written wrong five times.
Closer
– closet
rested
in her – rested on her
say
– sat
t
– it
lops
– lips
know
– knew (5 times)
man
– men
slopped
– stepped
two
policeman – two policemen
of
she stayed – if she stayed
on
– one
come
– came
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