THE FAMILY
Marriage changes over the centuries constantly, surprisingly and swiftly. It cannot be defined as a sacred
union between a man and a woman, as marriages have not always been considered sacred. Marriage has often
been seen as a union between one man and several women. And sometimes marriage has been seen as a union
between one woman and several men, as in southern India, for example, one bride may be shared by several
brothers. Marriage has also, at times, been recognized as a union between two men (as in ancient Rome, where
marriages between aristocratic males were recognized by law), or as a union between two siblings (as in
medieval Europe, when valuable property was at stake); or as a union between two children (again in Europe,
when parents wanted to protect their property); or as a union between two unborn (ditto); or as a union between
two people of the same social class (once more in Europe, where medieval peasants were forbidden by law to
marry their betters, in order to keep social divisions clean).
In China, the definition of marriage once included a sacred union between a living woman and a dead
man. It was called a ghost marriage. A young girl of high rank would be married off to a dead man from a good
family in order to seal the bonds of unity between two clans. Thankfully, no sex was involved. Some Chinese
women considered this custom as an ideal social arrangement. During the 19th century, a surprising number of
women in the Shanghai region worked as merchants in the silk trade, being very successful businesswomen.
Trying to get even more economic independence, such women preferred a ghost marriage to living husbands.
There was no better way to autonomy than to be married to a respectable corpse. She had the social status as a
married wife without any inconvenience of actual wifehood.
Exercise 1. Find the corresponding English word from the text.
Nobedasti
Swiftly
Hõlmama
include
Õed-vennad
siblings
Kummitusliit
Ghost marriage
Kaalul olema
be at stake
Kõrge sugu
High rank
Samad põhjused
ditto
Tihendama
seal
Klassivahe
Social division
Abielunaise põlv
wifehood
Exercise 2. Answer the following questions.
1. Will you name the different unions in history (9).
There have been unions between a man and a woman, a man and several women, a woman and several
men, two men, two siblings, two children, two unborn children, two people of the same social class or a
woman and a dead man.
2. Can marriage be defined as a sacred union? Why?/Why not?
Marriage can’t be defined as a sacred union as marriages haven’t always been considered sacred.
3. What is a ghost marriage?
A ghost marriage was a sacred union in China between a living woman and a dead man.
4. Why did some women prefer such a marriage?
Some women preferred this way of marriage because it gave the status of a married wife but also the
economic independence and autonomy.
Today a family is a married, civil partnered (in December 2005 Britain legalized homosexual marriages) or
cohabiting couple with or without children, or a lone parent with at least one child, who lives at the same
address. Children may be dependent or non-dependent.
A household is one person living alone, or a group of people (not necessarily related) living at the same
address who share cooking facilities and share a living room, sitting room or dining area. A household can
consist of a single family, more than one family or no families in the case of a group of unrelated people. In the
UK there were 27.2 million households in 2017, an average household size of 2.4.
Though many people’s idea of the family has changed dramatically, in 2017, just over half of the
population (51.0%) in England were married, compared to 93 percent in 1950. Included are the couples who
cohabit without getting married, calling each other partners, and who often make their relationship official after
the birth of their first child. Couples who live together are sometimes called common-law partners. The family
picture of England today reflects a change away from the married couple model that dominated for most of the
20th Century. London has the smallest proportion of married couples.
The second-largest proportion is the single population at 34.4%, followed by divorced at 7.8%,
widowed at 6.6% and civil partnered at 0.2%. 2.9 million (15%) are lone parent families.
Exercise 3. Answer the following questions.
1. What is the difference between a family and the household?
The difference between a family and a household is that the people in the family are either related or in
a partnership while household members are just living at the same address, sharing facilities and a living
room.
2. How has family life changed during the last 70 years?
Family life has seen quite drastic changes during the last 70 years – in 2017 only 51% of the population
in England were married, compared to 93% in 1950. It’s now more common to cohabit without getting
married and make the relationship official after the birth of their first child. The single population and
lone-parent families have also increased dramatically in the last 70 years – the single population is at
34.4% and is the second-largest proportion, while lone-parent families make up 15% of the population.
A 50-YEAR REVOLUTION IN BRITISH FAMILY LIFE
·
the UK now has smaller families
·
a decrease in the birth rate
·
an ageing population
·
an increase in promiscuity
·
the number of couples who are both in full-time work has doubled partly due to the cost of housing
often necessitating two full-time incomes, rather than a desire for both parents to be in full-time
employment.
·
1 in 5 couples has a female breadwinner, a woman who earns more than her partner
·
the role of the stay-at-home housewife is a dying concept
·
two in three rely on childcare
·
the average age of the first time mothers has risen from 26 in 1974 to nearly 30; one in 25 UK births are
to women over 40.
·
with marriage rates down and divorce rates up (42% of marriages in England would end in divorce
(22% in 1970), there is an increasing number of children growing up in sole-parent or reconstituted
families.
·
sole-parent families are of particular concern due to the high incidence of poverty among such
households.
·
the State pension age is rising (it will reach 67 by 2028, and 69 by the late 2040s), which means that
fewer grandparents may have leisure time to help their children care for their families, so the tradition of
using grandparents as a source of cheap childcare may be under threat.
Exercise 4. Find the corresponding English word from the last two texts.
Samasooliste kooselu
Civil partnership
Paratamatult nõudma
Necessitate
Vabaabielu elama
cohabit
Leivateenija
breadwinner
Leibkond
household
Väljasurev mõiste
Dying concept
Söögitegemise võimalused Cooking facilities
Taastatud
Reconstituted
Vabaabielu partnerid
Common-law partners
Esinemus
incidence
Osa
proportion
Ainus/vallaline vanem
Solo-parent
Lesestunud
widowed
Riiklik pension
State pension
Vananev elanikkond
Ageing population
Millegi lõpuks
By the late
Suguelu mitmete juhuslike
partneritega
promiscuity
Vaba aeg
Leisure time
Marriage or cohabitation?
·
The law ignores cohabitants. They have no legal status in many countries. They can’t inherit their
deceased partners’ property, and there is no asset division on separation.
·
Cohabiting relationships are often fragile. Cohabitants are more likely to be unfaithful than married
couples.
·
Marriage is nothing more than ‘a piece of paper’.
·
Marriage is no longer very stable.
·
Cohabitants suffer from more stress. They are more likely to be depressed than married couples.
·
Research has found that children of cohabiting couples do less well at school.
Exercise 5.
What is your personal opinion of marriage? Which partnership do you prefer?
For me, marriage is a serious commitment to somebody, so it needs to be a long and well thought out
decision. This means I’d need to get to know the person deeply, see them in different situations and so
inevitably, spend a long time together before getting married. Thus, I’d prefer cohabiting until marriage
feels like the right decision (which might never happen).
Find the corresponding English word from the text.
Pärima, päranduseks saama
inherit
Lahkunud, surnud
deceased
Vara 2x
Property, asset
Tõenäolisemalt
More likely
X,Y AND Z GENERATIONS
Generation X, born between 1965 and 1980
Generation Y, born between 1981 and 2000
Generation Z, born since 2001.
There are enormous changes in family life comparing these three generations, from baby names to the cost
of a family home and the age at which a mother typically has her first child.
·
A family home cost around £11,000 in 1974, compared to an average house price of around £260,000
today.
·
For Generation X, two-thirds of youngsters had a mother who did not have a job and was at home full-
time. But Generation Z babies have had a fundamentally different childhood. Just a third of today’s
mothers said that they are full-time stay-at-home parents.
·
Generation Z is more likely than any previous generation to have two parents who work full-time. In
many cases, children barely see their parents during the week, and this may be only briefly in the
morning and at night.
·
Between Generation X in the 1960s and 70s and Generation Z, the proportion of families who ‘rely’ on
two full-time incomes doubled from 11 per cent to 22 per cent.
·
The majority of Generation X parents said they simply ‘did not need to use childcare’. By comparison,
in Generation Z, 66 per cent of parents use some form of childcare. Childcare can include anything from
a full-time nanny or place in a local nursery to a grandparent who regularly looks after children.
·
In 1974, the most popular names were Sarah, Claire, Nicola, Emma and Lisa for girls, while for boys it
was Paul, Mark, David, Andrew and Richard. Today a girl is more likely to be called Amelia, Olivia,
Jessica, Emily or Lily, while the top boys’ names are Harry, Oliver, Jack, Charlie or Jacob.
Exercise 6.
Write a little story comparing the three generations.
The changes in just the last 55 years have been quite drastic – between Generation X and Generation Z, the
percentage of families who rely on two full-time incomes doubled from 11% to 22%. Therefore, for
Generation Y, two-thirds of youngsters had a full-time stay-at-home mother, while only a third of
Generation Z families have a stay-at-home parent. This means it’s more likely for Generation Z to have
both parents working full-time than for any previous generation, which leads to children often barely seeing
their parents during the workdays and 66% of the parents using some form of childcare (compared to the
majority of Generation X saying they simply didn’t need it). Additionally, a family home cost has gone up
from 11,000£ in 1974 to around 260,000£ today but this is consistent with the increase of the purchasing
power of the
pound (Measuring Worth - Purchasing Power of the Pound.).
Find the corresponding English word from the text.
Võrreldes millegagi
Compared to
Lühidalt
briefly
Täiskohaga koduperenaine Full-time stay-at-home
wife
Toetuma millelegi
rely on
Vaevalt, vaevu
barely
Kahekordistama
double
COURTSHIP AND WEDDING TRADITIONS IN ENGLAND
·
The date of the wedding is typically set up after a
proposal has taken place. Traditionally, the man was
the one to propose to his beloved, rather than the other way around. Nowadays this part of the tradition
is not always followed, although most couples still observe it.
·
English tradition has it that the man is to propose to his beloved with a ring, which she is to wear on the
ring finger of her left hand. Tradition also used to say that a woman can propose to her man on February
29th – on a leap year.
·
Once the couple had set a wedding date, it was customary to set the so-called banns of the marriage. The
banns were basically a marriage notice.
·
Prior to the wedding date; the bride celebrates with her female friends in what is called a
hen party,
whereas the groom celebrates the engagement with his male friends in a
stag do.
·
It is said that the groom should not see his bride on the day before the ceremony, because that will bring
bad luck to the newlyweds.
·
It was said that the best
season to marry was between the harvest and Christmas. “Marry in September’s
shine, your living will be rich and fine.” In the Middle Ages most people got married in June because
they took their yearly bath in May, and so they still smelled pretty good in June. However, since they
were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
·
The bride is traditionally given a decorative horseshoe, to be worn on her wrist or. This item was given
for good luck, and although it is rare to use an actual horseshoe at present, in the old days it was
commonplace!
·
Another fantastic tradition, still followed today, is to follow this
Victorian rhyme on the day of one’s
wedding: “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence
in her shoe.” The bride was to wear each and every one of these items during her ceremony, as a way of
bringing good luck for her and her husband-to-be.
·
When the bridegroom left the church after their ceremony, their guests would cast wheat over their
heads, as this was a symbol of bounty, abundance and fertility. Nowadays, rice or confetti make for
good substitutes.
·
In England you can get married in a church, in a registry office or in other approved premises. Over the
years, the country house weddings have become very popular. After the ceremony there is always a
reception for relatives and friends. Big expensive parties are no longer very common, and newly-weds
often have a honeymoon abroad instead. However, many couples choose to wed abroad – e.g. in the
Maldives – and spend their wedding budget on that.
Exercise 7.
Find the corresponding English word from the text and then answer the 10 questions below.
Abieluettepanek
Marriage proposal
Igaüks
Each and every one
Liigaasta
Leap year
Tulevane abikaasa
Husband-to-be
Mahakuulutamine kiriklik banns
Pruut, peigmees
Bride, bridegroom
Enne (midagi)
prior to
Viskama, heitma 3pv
cast, cast, cast
Naiste koosviibimine
Hen party
Heldekäelisus
bounty
Aga, kuna
whereas
Küllus
abundance
Meeste pidu
Stag do
Viljakus
fertility
Viljakoristus
harvest
Aseaine
substitute
Keha lõhn
Body odour
Heakskiidetud ruumid
Approved premises
Hobuseraud
horseshoe
Vastuvõtt
reception
Ranne
wrist
Paari minema, abielluma
To wed
Õmblema kleidi äärisesse Sew to the hem of the
dress
Pulma eelarve
Wedding budget
Igapäevane asi
commonplace
1. Usually, who proposes who? How?
Usually, the man is the one who proposes to his beloved with a ring.
2. Why is the date 29 February important to keep in mind for single women?
29th of February is important to keep in mind for a single woman because traditionally, it’s the day when
a woman can propose to a man.
3. Where is the engagement ring worn?
The engagement ring is worn on the ring finger of the left hand.
4. When did people get usually married?
The best time to get married was said to be between the harvest and Christmas. In the Middle Ages,
people usually got married in June.
5. Why was it different in the Middle Ages?
In the Middle Ages, people took their yearly bath in May, so they still smelled pretty good in June.
6. Why was the bride given a horseshoe and where did she have to wear it?
The bride was given a horseshoe as a symbol of good luck and it had to be worn on her wrist or sewn to
the hem of her dress.
7. Describe the Victorian wedding tradition.
A tradition, that dates back to the Victorian time, is to follow this rhyme “Something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe.”. To bring luck to the
bride and her husband-to-be, the bride would wear every one of these items during her ceremony.
8. Why is wheat or rice or confetti cast over the heads of the bridegroom?
Wheat or rice or confetti is cast over the heads of the bridegroom as a symbol of bounty, abundance and
fertility.
9. In what kind of premises can you get married in England?
In England, you can get married in a church, in a registry office or on other approved premises, for
example, country house weddings have become popular over the years.
10. How have wedding traditions changed over the years?
A major change in the wedding traditions over the years has been the size of the party – big expensive
wedding parties are no longer very common and the newly-weds often have a honeymoon abroad
instead. Some even choose to get married abroad and spend their wedding budget on that.
AS IT USED TO BE ...
An extract from a 1950s high school home economics textbook, teaching girls how to prepare for married life.
Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a
delicious meal on time. It shows your husband that you have been
thinking about him and you are concerned about his needs. Most
men are hungry when they reach home, and the prospects of a good
meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself: Take a short break, about 15 minutes, so you
will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a
ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. Your husband has been
with work-weary people for the whole day, so you have to be
cheerful and interesting. After the boring day he needs some
pampering and it is your task to pamper him.
Prepare the house: Just before your husband’s arrival, have one
more look at the rooms; put everything in their right place –
schoolbooks, toys, papers. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. If it
is cold outside, set the fire in the fireplace so that he could relax
himself in its warmth. Your husband gets the feeling that he has
arrived in the heaven of rest and it will help to raise his mood.
Besides, satisfying his needs offers you a great personal pleasure.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their
hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all the noise. Turn off the washing machine, hair-dryer, vacuum cleaner. Try to silence your children. Be
happy to see him and greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Be sincere in satisfying his needs. Listen
to him if he wants to talk to you. Maybe you have tens of important things to tell him, but you have to let him talk
first. Remember, his news is more essential than yours. Allow him to relax-unwind.
Make the evening his: Never complain when he comes home late or goes out in the evening without you. Try to
understand his stressful world and the real need to get peace at home and relax. Try to make your home a place of
peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don’t annoy him with your own
problems, don’t whine if he is late for dinner or comes home at midnight. Take it as a trifle compared to what he had
had to experience during the day. Make his existence comfortable.
Make him comfortable: Find him a comfortable chair or suggest him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or
warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a calming tone, don ’t ask him
questions about his work, and don’t question his decisions and honesty. Remember, he is the master of the house.
In the evening: When your husband has finished his dinner, clear the table and wash the dishes at once. Always turn
down his offer to help you as he does not need any extra work after the long working day.
Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive, not insistent. If you happen to have a
hobby yourself, don’t bore him speaking of these as female interests are often rather trivial compared to men’s ones.
At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your
husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive mood.
In the bedroom: Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. While
feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he
would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is
welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can
be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it
is important to remember your marriage vows. In all things be led by your husband's wishes, do not pressure him in
any way to stimulate intimacy. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is
encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. It is likely that your
husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair
care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable
you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w
Exercise 8.
According to the text bring out 10 differences: 50 years ago/today …
1. 50 years ago it was expected from the woman to be cheerful and interesting for her husband when he
comes home from work. Today it’s expected from her to just show her natural emotions.
2. 50 years ago it was expected from the wife to prepare dinner. Nowadays it’s expected to share
responsibilities.
3. 50 years ago it was expected from the wife to get ready for bed as promptly as possible, today it’s
expected from her to take as long as she needs, it’s often expected from her to take longer than a man.
4. 50 years ago it was thought that female interests are often rather trivial compared to men’s ones, nowadays
there’s no such difference.
5. 50 years ago it was said to not whine if your husband is late for dinner or comes home at midnight, today it
is normal to question that and not noticing it is viewed as unusual.
1. 50 years ago it was said that your husband’s news are more essential than yours, today both news are equally
important.
2. 50 years ago it was said to not question your husband’s decisions and honesty, today it is expected from you
to trust your husband but not blindly.
3. 50 years ago it was said that the man is the master of the house, today both of the partners are viewed as
equally responsible for the home.
6. 50 years ago it was said to annoy your husband with your own problems, today it is expected that both
partners share their struggles and thoughts with each other.
4. 50 years ago it was said to be led by your husband's wishes in intimate relations and aim for only his
pleasure, nowadays those relations are viewed as something satisfying for both partners.
Find the corresponding English word from the text:
maitsev toit
delicious meal
puhasta laud
Clear the table
mures tema vajaduste pärast
concerned about his
needs
keeldu tema abist
turn down his offer to
help you
meiki värskendama
touch up your make
up
Hobidega tegelema
pursue hobbies
tööst väsinud inimesed
work-weary
ära tüüta teda
don’t bore him
sinu ülesanne on hellitada teda
it is your task to
pamper him
tühised naiste huvid
trivial female interests
juukseid kammima
comb hair
hommikusöök on ülitähtis
breakfast is vital
lõõgastuma
relax
võimalikult kiiresti
as promptly as possible
Taastuma kehaliselt ja vaimselt
renew in body and
spirit
Kreemita nägu
apply face-cream
ära tülita teda ja ära vingu
don’t annoy him and
don’t whine
juhindu oma mehe soovidest be led by your husband's
wishes
ära kahtle tema otsustes
don’t question his
decisions
tõuse natuke enne teda
arise shortly before him
COUGARS AND CUBS
The term “cougar” was coined in 2006. Originally it was a pejorative word for older women who hunted
younger men, as a cougar is a predator, a cat that preys upon other creatures to satisfy its own needs. In the old days
this was called a “May-December” romance. In today’s society, much younger wives are still widely regarded as
gold diggers and fortune hunters. Their older husbands are publicly known as “old fools,” but they are secretly
envied by their same-sex peers for their young, firm trophy wives. Older women who partner with younger men, on
the other hand, are universally regarded as predators.
The cougars fall into two categories: the first, in full war paint and tight dresses; the other has had her hair
done and possibly buys a new dress, yet still looks like a librarian on a night out. Actually, not every older woman
with a younger man is technically a cougar: If you’re in your thirties, you’re a puma. If you’re in your forties and
fifties, you’re a cougar. And if you’re in your sixties, you’re a panther. This cougar thing is great for women. It’s
empowering. It’s a laugh. It’s whatever you want it to be – as long as the cougars in question don’t imagine their
relationships will stand the test of time. Because time is the one thing cougars do not have on their side. Thanks to
plastic surgery and better diet, an average 21st-century cougar can look and feel 35, when, in fact, she ’s nearer 50.
But it’s what happens in the future, in the tricky years post mid-fifties, that count.
The cubs, as the younger men are called, face a lower risk of unwanted pregnancy, sex with an older woman
will teach them a thing or two, and then, hopefully, cougars will do their laundry. They are so grateful :) In Britain
about 35 per cent of single females in their 40s, 50s and 60s are hunting for a man at least five years younger. The
figure was only eight per cent five years ago. And most Cougars have no trouble finding a suitable "prey" to date.
Exercise 9.What are the differences between cougars, pumas, panthers and cubs?
The difference between cougars, pumas and panthers depends on the age of the woman – pumas are in their
thirties, cougars are in their forties or fifties and panthers are in their sixties. The younger men in the
relationship are called cubs.
Describe the two types of cougars.
There are two types of cougars: the first one in a tight dress and full makeup and the second one possibly
buys a new dress and does her hair but still looks like a librarian on a night out.
Find out some cougar/panther/puma and cub relations from real life.
Some of the famous couples include Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, Rebecca Ferguson and Zayn Malik,
Kelly Brook and Thom Evans and Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton.
Find the corresponding English word from the text:
Mägilõvi
cougar
Eakaaslane
same-sex peer
Uut sõna leiutama
to coin a term
Elujõuline
firm
Halvustav
pejorative
Ajaproovile
vastu
panema
stand the test of time
Kiskja
predator
Pesu pesema
to do laundry
Püüdma ja sööma
to prey
Saakloom
prey
EXERCISES FOR THE PREPARATION OF THE EXAMINATION
Exercise 1Answers
78. G
79. B
80. I
81. D
82. K
83. H
84. F
85. antidote
86. consistently
87. repository
88. fondly
89. myriad
90. inculcated
91. well-adjusted
92. express
Exercise 2Answers
92. more
93. or
94. the
95. that
96. between
97. were
98. able
99. their
100. matter
Document Outline
- 1 in 5 couples has a female breadwinner, a woman who earns more than her partner
- two in three rely on childcare
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