flowers. Flowers should be given in odd numbers. Gifts are usually opened when received. Dining Etiquette Arrive on time. Punctuality is expected. Call if running late. Check to see if shoes are being worn in the house. Do not expect a tour of the house - homes are private. Dress conservatively. Try and offer to help the hostess with the preparation or clearing up after a meal is served. This will be turned down but is nonetheless polite. Do not discuss business. Reciprocate any hospitality received. Table Manners Table manners are relatively formal in Estonia. Remain standing until invited to sit down. Table manners are Continental, i.e. the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right while eating. Do not begin eating until the hostess starts or someone says "head isu" ("good appetite"). Avoid resting your elbows of the table. Compliment the hostess on the meal. Try to finish everything on your plate. Business Meeting & Greeting
Fortu- nately, a journalist who had been as bewildered as I by the Ethiopians' actions had asked for an explanation. The answer he received offered eloquent valida- tion of the reciprocity rule: Despite the enormous needs prevailing in Ethiopia, the money was being sent to Mexico because, in 1935, Mexico had sent aid to Ethiopia when it was invaded by Italy ("Ethiopian Red Cross," 1985). So informed, I remained awed, but I was no longer puzzled. The need to reciprocate had tran- scended great cultural differences, long distances, acute famine, many years, and immediate self-interest. Quite simply, a half-century later, against all counter- vailing forces, obligation triumphed. If a half-century-Iong obligation appears to be a one of a kind sort of thing, explained by some unique feature of Ethiopian culture, consider the solution to RECIPROCATION _
The Chinese on the other hand, control how America eats. Even in the movies, you always see the actors or actresses, ordering one form of Chinese food or another. Africans spend a lot of money eating or ordering Chinese foods. Our African Missions to the United Nations, Embassies in Washington and all the African Consulates General spend millions of dollars eating Chinese food a year. I have never seen a Chinese going to an African restaurant to reciprocate our patronage. The Chinese also control how America keeps its wardrobe clean. The question really is how could Africa have millions of educated men and women, yet have to import experts in all fields to manage areas of economic development, engineering and others for which Africans had gone to the same school. All this is due to the shallowness of our “education,” a non- commitment to the study of knowledge for the benefits of the people, rather than a study on how we
in, the more you get out. The more things that you do for other peo- ple, the more things other people will want to do for you. When you offer to help or serve others, they will want to help or serve you. What goes around comes around. Whatever you sow you will even- tually reap. We have entered into the era of the “go-giver” rather than just the go-getter. Each person has a deep desire to reciprocate in his or her relations with others. We want to even things up when anything nice has been done for us. We want to pay people back for any kindnesses or favors. We don’t want to feel that we are obligated to another. Nowhere is this principle more important than in relationships. There are many people who think that the key to success is to get around other successful people and then to exploit this relation-
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