ning abis majapidamistöödel Mitteametlik abi (nõuanded ja tagasiside), mille sisuks on nõuanded enese eest hoolitsemiseks ja andjaks empaatiliselt kuulav isik Stressi bioloogilised ohjeldajad · Sotsiaalsete suhete stressi alandav iseloom sõltub sellest, kas kontakt on vabatahtlikult pakutav või kohustuslik (ametlik). Ainult kohusetundest aitamine ei alanda aidataval stressi (Bolger & Eckenrode, 1991) · Eysenck (1988) leidis, et inimesed, kes väldivad sotsiaalse toetuse otsimist, on vastuvõtlikud mitmesugustele somaatilistele haigustele, eriti vähihaigusele · Eysenck nimetab neid takistava (repressiivse) isiksusega inimesteks, keda iseloomustab tendents end pidevalt kaitsta negatiivsete emotsioonide, eriti viha ja ärevuse eest ja samas oma distressi eitada
In combination, the reality of internal discomfort and the possibility of exter- nal shame can produce a heavy psychological cost. When seen in the light of this cost, it is not so puzzling that, in the name of reciprocity, we will often give back more than we have received. Neither is it so odd that we will often avoid asking for a needed favor if we will not be in a position to repay it (De Paulo, Nadler, 8{ Fisher, 1983; Greenberg 8{ Shapiro, 1971; Riley 8{ Eckenrode, 1986). The psychological cost may simply outweigh the material loss. The risk of still other kinds of losses may also persuade people to decline cer- tain gifts and benefits. Women frequently comment on the uncomfortable sense of obligation they can feel to return the favors of a man who has given them an ex- pensive present or paid for a costly evening out. Even something as small as the price of a drink can produce a feeling of debt
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